Week Two: My Thoughts

Episode Two: Do horses smell fear?


Oh, hell yes. We follow up an awesome premiere episode with an equally awesome episode. I think this week I'll direct my comments to each individual team as my notes are kind of all over the place on my scoresheet.

David and Mary

• Okay, I have to say it: these two are great students of the game. They took another Fern! And he wasn't even wearing this shirt which, I admit, is one that I would really, really really like to have. In case anyone was wondering.
• There's something about Mary that I just really love. It's like she said in the first episode: she's never been out of Kentucky or Tennessee and doing this show is like dropping a 30 year old baby into the middle of the world and saying, "Go!" But as opposed to what I (and probably others) thought ahead of time, they aren't going through culture shock, or saying how bad and weird everything that they experience is, like another team I can think of (and we're going to reference that same team in a minute).
• I think the biggest culture shock these two are experiencing is actually meeting the other teams. Best line of the night goes to Mary from the beginning of the episode, first saying (and I'm paraphrasing) "We've never met any Asians" (cut to Mary putting her arm around __win and telling him how great he is) and then saying, "we've never, um, met any gay people...I like 'em!" I have a feeling that coffee breaks in the coal mine won't be the same for awhile after that comment. I imagine that David and Mary come from a very religious small town community, and I must say that it's people like these two that restore my faith in the Christian faith (pick a denomination). They look at the world with wide eyes, ready to accept what's in front of them, not judge. Not like these two. And for that, I'm really sad they aren't one of my teams because that is an attitude that will get them far. Except, I'm a bit worried that they pointed out at the end that Mary twisted her ankle, because that might be really bad.

Duke and Lauren

• I got done with my recap last week, and realized I hadn't mentioned these two at all. Sorry about that!
• These two were totally on my pre-show "Hm. I don't think I'm going to like them" list, but they have totally proven me wrong (just like I asked them to in my initial thoughts, so thanks, guys!). I've decided that they played up their estranged relationship for their team's "hook", because it's clear that these two are close and know how the other works. And I think that's awesome.
• Has anyone noticed how Duke is trying really hard to be "hip" with the young crowd? At least twice this episode, he'd go up to one of the younger teams and try to do a "fist-knock" and instead they move for the high-five, and it looks like he's punching their hand. Maybe it's just me that finds that funny.
• It does seem that "Lola" is Duke's nickname for her, which only reminds me of Lolita and, coupled with the fact that they were mistaken for a couple last episode and his answer was, "Well, I've been trying to ask her out for years", well, that's a little squicky.
• As Adam emailed me last night, "I so wanted Duke to say to Tom, 'my gay totally just beat your gay!' at the roadblock!" I think that would have been awesome. However, I was just happy to see a quite attractive gay woman shooting a flaming arrow on TV. Oh, wait, I have seen that before!

Dustin and Kandice

• I love these two. In fact, I love these two so much that I'm going to extrapolate a theory that covers their ass on a misuse of the English language. In the bus station (maybe train station) at the beginning of the show, these two decided they were going to try to find better routes, and remarked that they needed to do it "conspicuously". Girls? That would probably be "inconspiculously". However, I think they're actually geniuses, and they intentionally used that word because they knew they wouldn't find anything better but wanted to make it obvious that they were up to something, and that would make the other racers overwork their own minds trying to figure out what they had found, making the other racers tired and stressed while D and K could just relax. And there you go.
• And that's apparently all I wrote down this week!

Erwin and Godwin

• Sorry, dudes, I totally didn't write anything down about you! I promise to pay better attention to your dorky big muscled ways next week.

Kellie and Jamie

• Oh, my poor Gamecocks. There are sometimes when a team I like goes out early due to chance, and then there are sometimes that a team kind of deserves to go out early. Unfortunately, these two fall into the latter category. I can't count how many times these two got lost, but they were first when they got to the ceremony, and suddenly were last because they didn't know which way to go. And then their car breaks down (this? Probably not their fault. Lots of teams had trouble). And then when they leave the detour (which it looked like they rocked), they went the wrong way. So, this was a sad but deserved elimination
  
• HOWEVER, it's very hard for me to stay behind a team who QUITS a task, even if they know their last. Somewhere, Lena Jensen is shaking her head and saying, "you quit on arrows? It's not like they were hay bales".
  
• See you at TARCon with my shirt, dudes.

Lyn and Karlyn

• You know, I never thought that I would be rooting for cheerleaders over single moms to stay in the race, but I don't think I really like these two. And I really hate saying that.
  
• However, they took an AMERICAN Fern with them! And that is awesome. And, actually, I've known about it for months and have been sitting on this little gem of info. And now I can share it with all of you.
• The one time I really laughed about this team this episode was at the end when, trying to leave the detour, they couldn't get their car started. They went over to check how the local Mongol (is it Mongol or Mongolian?) was doing it, and one remarked "He had a long rod...". All right, maybe I'm just a wee bit immature. But I thought it was hilarious.

Peter and Sarah

• Just to warn y'all, the length of this recap might double by the time I'm done with this team.
• Dear Peter: Sarah is not an organ grinder's monkey that you can parade around and then expect people on the street to give you money after you command her to perform. That was really, really strange.
• Dear Sarah: Peter is not an organ grinder. And you are not a monkey. That's my title.
• Am I the only one that reeled back from the TV when they showed that her "foot" had nail polish on the toes? I don't know why that was so creepy, but it was. And I never, ever, need to see that again.
• I thought I'd share a little conversation that Zoe and I had during the show. Zoe: Sarah needs to hit Peter with her leg. Me: Maybe that's what the extra one is for. Anyone else want to join us in the handbasket to hell on that one?
• I find it a bit ironic that the only one who had a large amount of trouble controlling the beast of burden (was it an ox? water buffalo?) was the burdenous beast himself. But unlike the beast of burden, the budenous beast does not have "fire in his eyes". I think Peter is actually manufactured from the parts that his company makes.
• Irony: Did anyone catch that when Phil checked these two in, he asked Sarah, "two legs into the race, did you think you'd be in first?" Um, Phil? Come join us in the handbasket.
• I totally don't understant how Peter and Sarah switched detours not once, but TWICE and still managed to win a leg. I mean, the leg.
  
• I have finally figured out who Peter reminds me of. It's Greg Kinnear's character in "Little Miss Sunshine". And what do you mean you haven't seen that movie? Go see it now. Here are the showtimes. And then come back for the rest of the recap. It'll still be here.
  
• Wasn't that GREAT? Did you just about empty your tear ducts laughing in the last scene at the pageant? And when...wait, it just occurred to me that some of you might not have taken me seriously. SHOWTIMES. Run!
• I really like it when the kid found out he was...
• Seriously, people. If you like my recaps, you'll like my movie choices.
• Anyways.
• Peter did have one really good line: "Sarah, hang onto your jugs!". The same part of my brain that liked the long rod line had a gleeful time with that, too.
• Maybe it's just me, but why has Peter taken both of the first two roadblocks? I'm assuming the six roadblock rule is still in effect this season (better be), so why wouldn't you have the girl with one leg do the ones where running isn't involved? It's not like the clues were hard: "Who's hungry to stay in the race" and "Who's ready to aim high?" pretty much spell out, "TEAM TRIPOD: THESE ARE FOR SARAH TO DO". I'm wondering what will happen if they do bungee jumping. Can Sarah attach a bungee jumping rope around her skinny bionic leg? That's my thought for the night.
• I kind of can't believe that Sarah is already melting down on the second leg. Well, it is the second leg. Maybe it reminds her that she only...okay, never mind. That joke is way too easy. And lame. Like Sarah 'cause she only...
• I know that the villians make for good TV, and they give me a lot of fodder, but I kinda want these two to go away now. Sorry.

Rob and Kimberly

• It's official: we have a new Kendra. While nothing Kimberly said tonight bordered on the "They keep breeding and breeding" line, but between the "Can I get diseases from that?" when some water splashed in her eye in the cab, and freaking out over having to ride the horse, I was kind of glad when she totally missed the tree branch and got knocked off.
• Having said that, if there's any time for Rob to get off his high horse, it's when Kimberly fell off his.
• Apparently, some of these jokes are just for me.
• I don't really like these two. Not bordering on my hatred for Virginia Woolf yet, but I don't like 'em.

Tom and Terry

• Terry, I have someone I want you to meet. Her name is Charla, and she is fluent in a very, very special language called "Charlades". I'm glad you're fluent in it as well! (and if anyone can find the picture of Charla doing the plane or "choo choo" from season five, I'll max out your bonus points last week because I can't find it and it's driving me nuts).
• I really liked watching on the flaming arrow detour. Of course, if Tom was shooting them, they'd be flaming even if they were on fire or not.
• Eric is hoping that TnT's sound and camera guys are also gay. Because, if not, these two might be a tad too much for anyone else!
• And, the priceless Phil moment of the week: when Phil switched into his best New York accent to check these two in. You can always tell when Phil likes a team when he jokes around with them. I'd joke around with these two, as well.

Tyler and James

• I like these two, but I don't really need to be reminded that they went through rehab. Would it be really bad of me to add "every time they say sobriety or sober" to the AR10 drinking game rules?
• And the immature part of my brain is back. When these two were trying to work the carjack, "I can't get it up, man." I'm just going to leave that one right there.

A couple more random observations.

• I always love it when we get random shots of crew members. My favorite this week was the audio guy chilling with his boom mike waiting for the train. Yea crew!
• If they followed the Friends conventions of naming episodes, this one totally would have been "The one where all the cars break down". Seriously, this was bordering on a Dieselgate type episode.
• I loved that the teams on the second bus bonded and did a little dance. It was so akin to Papa Gaghan on the way to Huntsville.

And that's it for today! This is Scrappy, signing off.